The Lurker

A typical morning on Melbourne's train network

As I arrive at North Brighton station one of Metro's friendly staff announces that the next train will arrive in five minutes. Apparently I blacked out for a little while, because the train arrived before I'd even managed to open my newspaper — still, it's not as though I want to complain about not having to wait for a train.

The journey is uneventful until we pass through Richmond station. Incredibly, the train proceeds directly to Flinders Street without a lengthy delay somewhere near the arse end of Federation Square. I'm on platform 13 at about 8:36.

It's a short walk to platform 10, where the 8:40 Werribee train waits. Things are going really smoothly today.

But don't worry: we can fix that.

As I'm walking toward my carriage, the display goes blank. Another friendly microphone-wielding customer service gentleman confidently confirms that this is, indeed, the 8:40 Werribee train. He proves to be absolutely correct.

But not yet.

As I board, a different announcer declares that the 8:40 Werribee service will now depart from platform 12, right next to the train I'd left five minutes earlier. By the time I get back there, the train has arrived, and when I board the driver confirms that he is heading to Werribee — but not until network congestion clears up ahead. But before he can even finish saying so, yet another helpful Metro employee has boarded the train to share his idea about getting around the congestion: we can all, passengers and driver alike, get out of this train and return to the other one back on platform 10.

Oh, and as my train approaches Footscray station, it's starting to rain. If that train had left on time, I'd've been dry in the office by now.

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